Quick update, there has been a struggle between the political opposition and the government here in Thailand. I am OK, no need to worry. My next post will be about the situation and hopefully help to explain it to foreign audiences. This situation is as confusing for Thais and it is for everyone else.
So two weeks ago, we had a lecture by a man named Tony Zola. He’s a American from upstate New York who came to Thailand as a Peace Corps volunteer and never left. He’s an international businessman working in agriculture here in Thailand and in bordering Laos. He’s the prototypical international citizen that Thomas Friedman and Fareed Zakaria would use as proof of the “flat” and “post-American” worlds. His task was to talk to us about living and working in Thailand. Here’s what he had to say along with my color commentary.
-“Be Patient”
-Everything is delayed. We, as a Fulbright group, have already become used to Thai time. You will never miss anything in Thailand by being five minutes late.
-“Have a sense of humor”
-This is the only thing that has made the America to Thailand adjustment at times.
-“Be humble”
-This goes beyond eschewing visible arrogance, rather it reflects a difference between Thai and American culture. Let me give an example. In the US, if someone were to compliment the shirt I was wearing, I would say “thank you.” I would say this to express gratitude and implicitly affirm their compliment. In Thailand, one would respond to such a compliment with something like:
-“Oh, this shirt is old.”
-“Oh no it’s not”
-“Oh it’s not mine. I borrowed it from a friend.”
In Thailand, you would never simply accept the compliment but you would deny vehemently, at times to a degree bordering on the ridiculous. That is how you show humility in Thailand.
-“Be helpful and show concern for others.”
-One must show the most Victorian of manners at all times. This is how one shows they are polite particularly as a farang (Thai word for foreigner). I have no proof of this but my sense in Thailand as been that it is assumed that farangs are universally less polite than your average Thai. So as a farang, it is my sense, one must work extra hard to dispel that. Further one must show instant empathy to any hardship that someone else is going through. If someone’s relative has died offer immediate condolescences. Again, this is not optional.
-“Seniority and hierarchy count for a lot”
Before I left, my mom (born and raised in Nigeria) remarked that America has always seemed strange to her because of the relative lack of importance of seniority and hierarchy. At the way that a 20 year old and 40 year old can and do address each other as equals for example. “Age just doesn’t seem to count.” I have thought about that a lot since I arrived in Thailand because there is a clear hierarchy here based on age and authorityand you are expected to know your place within it. Whenever I met a Thai person who was older than me, they would always ask me how old I was. I thought this was just them trying to get to know me but I later found out that Thais ask this of each other all the time whether they seem to be of the same age group or not. They do this to know who is above them and below them in this age hierarchy and whether to address them as Pee(older sibling) or Nong (younger sibling). Age determines who should say hello first in a first meeting, who wais (I’ll explain that one later) and how low someones bows while they do.
-“Go to the market to practice your Thai.”
Totally true, that’s where I’ve gotten the most practice particularly around buying food..
-“Never say anything negative about Thailand or Thainess more broadly.:
-The amount of national pride is prodigious particularly over the fact that Thailand was never colonized.
-“Deal with conflicts individually, never in meetings. Someone could lose face.”
-“Saving face”, making sure that no one is embarrassed or their reputation besmirched in public, is a defining concept of Thai culture. Among adults, bringing up a conflict or problem in a group setting is taboo because someone could lose face in the process. You might win the battle but lose a relationship by burning a bridge. This disinclination for public conflict permeates the country to the point where no one speaks about the fact that a mob has occupied the Thai equivalent of the White House for almost two months (more on that in next post).
-“Mai bpen rai” (Thai for no problem or it doesn’t matter)
-Being flexible is key. Never ever get visibly mad over changes in schedule or delays. They will happen and if you get visibly, you are the one who loses face and no one else.
Monday, October 27, 2008
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